Unexpected, Uncertain Future

I had decided to start this blog, to underline the progression of thoughts that influenced my artwork, to bear witness to the creative thoughts and ideas that swam through my head like some great predator lurking in the shallow end of the pool. I have never been any good at truly letting people see who I am, that it was better to perform my actions in the background and let my artwork speak for themselves. The life that I had envisioned myself living, has taken an unexpected turn of events. For longer than I care to admit, I have been asleep; failing to live up to the expectations of myself and those that we're around me. For those closest to me, knew of this slumber and had consistently tried to shake me awake. It took the loss of the one person that I held closest, my beautiful, beautiful R; to end this dreamless coma that had become my life. I shall never be able to really thank this person for all that she has done for me. She will always be with me; even if it is only in my dreams of the past. I mourn the loss of what was (in my head) the fairy tale life that seemed to take place in a world of pain and suffering, a world of melancholy and mundane existence, the world of nine to five jobs that never seemed to fulfill; what happens to a man who has held his dream girl in his arms for so long?

Was I falling farther and farther into the rabbit hole, my life passing before my eyes; ignorant to the loss of time, blind due to the cataracts of complacency. The light of day has pierced through this misguided attempt at living, only to stand alone. The hunger to achieve has reared its ugly head again, and this time, I'm ready to charge ahead and see what awaits me. I only wish you were here to challenge the world with me...

I don't know what this unexpected, uncertain future will hold for me, but I shall put one foot in front of another and walk into the sunset knowing that you're out there and what we had shared was true love.

...I MISS YOU!